Book Review – Status Passage

status passage

Status Passage, originally published in 1971, is a general study about the different temporary passages a person experiences as they age, (i.e., birth, childhood, teenager, college, single, married, parenthood, grandparenthood, etc.) and how they complete each passage and move on to the next one.  The book help explains what a person is going through during the passage, why they are going through it, and what they must do to complete each passage.  Some passages require nothing as the person simply gets older; others may require graduation. In the instance of child birth, the mother actually gives birth to her child, who ends her passage of being pregnant and simultaneously places each person into a new passage.  Glaser and Strauss do mention in the book that people may not even realize they are in a passage until it has already passed.  Passages are further described as desirable or undesirable.  A person may experience multiple passages at the same time.  Ultimately, a person’s final passage is dying.  This passage is tied back to previous work found in Awareness of Dying.  However, Glaser and Strauss did find that the mourners may be thrust into an undesirable passage depending on the circumstances surrounding the death.

Status Passage is a formal grounded theory.  It was developed by Glaser and Strauss from comparing substantive grounded theory from other people’s studies.  The authors found three sources of grounding Status Passages: (1) data; (2) substantive theory; and (3) a combination of data and substantive theory (Glaser & Strauss, 2010a, p. 177).  Glaser and Strauss also found that passages could be shaped by “who is in control and who is vying for control” (2010a, p. 58).  When a person is vying for control, they use a closed awareness context in order to disguise their true intentions.  This is taken from the authors previous findings wherein closed awareness contexts did not divulge the true status of a person’s health.

The implications of Glaser and Strauss’ work are that, “With either a propositional or discussional grounded theory, the sociologist then can logically deduce further hypotheses” (2010a, p. 189).  Once a researcher had deducted from grounded theory, they can turn to theoretical sampling for a more comparative group analysis.  Theoretical sampling comes from Glaser and Strauss’ book The Discovery of Grounded Theory.  In order to develop the emerging theory for Status Passage, Glaser and Strauss (2010a) used comparative analysis as the method to generate a formal theory.  Most of their research came from exploratory qualitative research of other people’s work.  Glaser and Strauss did not conduct any research specifically for this book, unlike Awareness of Dying.  Therefore, Status Passage is a literature review based on professional research.  Glaser and Strauss used the qualitative materials in order to create categories, properties, and problems in Status Passage in order to develop the formal theory (2010a).  Then Glaser and Strauss created core categories in Status Passage to ascertain and group the categories into relationships.  Categories are created by the researcher based on what the researcher thought the participant meant during the analysis of the transcript. This is how they developed theory as a process and a method others could follow when wanting to generate a new theory.  Because, the authors used prior literature and research to develop the formal theory, they did not develop research questions per se.  Overall, Glaser and Strauss did a phenomenal job in explaining how a person goes through status passages and what signs to look for.  In explaining their processes, Glaser and Strauss were able to provide guidelines for someone else wanting to conduct a similar research problem.

References

Glaser, B., & Strauss, A. (2010a). Status Passage. (Rev. ed.).  New Brunswick, NJ: Aldine Transaction.

Holiday Memories

year unknown.

Thanksgiving – year unknown.

80’s throwback: Seven of the nine people in this photograph are no longer here to celebrate; at least I have the happy memories to cherish.

Holidays are and can be a difficult time for the bereaved.

To anyone in the grieving process try to surround yourself with people who do not have verbal diarrhea of the mouth, i.e., the ones who sputter inappropriate comments.  Please know that it is okay to light a memorial candle and place it on the table to acknowledge your loss.  It is also okay to skip the holiday all together or even change the date your celebrate.  Just be comfortable and safe.

Your Sibling’s Bedroom

Eric's transformed room 1room 4 room 5

When your sibling suddenly dies in their bedroom; what do you do with the contents of the room?

In my case, my brother died in his bed at my parents’ house.  The mattress was immediately removed from the room and placed at the curb for garbage pickup.  However, a few hours later someone came by and snagged the mattress.  For many months, I was uncomfortable that someone was sleeping in the bed where my brother took his last breath.  I am still extremely uncomfortable seeing a stripped down mattress because my mind plays tricks and I see Eric’s lifeless body.  I am very lucky that my husband does not push me to strip down and remake our bed; especially since we have a Jack Russell that often pees in bed.

Once the bed was removed from Eric’s room, my parents and I closed the door and kept the contents undisturbed for many months.  I think none of us knew where to start or what to do. This was new and uncomfortable territory for us.  In hindsight I think this was a smart move, because we did not donate or throw out any objects that we would later regret.

Therefore, if anyone finds themselves facing this similar dilemma, I would recommend closing the door for a few weeks. Every object is going to have a scent and a memory.  The family should communicate and decide together if the room is going to stay an untouched shrine, if the contents are going to be donated to a charity that your sibling believed in, or if the contents are going to be labeled and placed in plastic storage bins.

In the case of Eric’s room, we kept a few clothes, one pair of shoes, his Transformer collection, and model car collection.  The carpet was ripped out and the walls repainted.  Eric had the walls pitch black and now they are ivory white.  Eric had two main passions, AutoCAD drawing and cars.  His room is now lined with shelves of model cars and gas stations, along with his drawings in frames.  We even bought an old gas pump.  The room is a museum for a car lover.  It is a very nice tribute to his memory.

By Robyn Gabe © 2013

Book Review by Robyn Gabe Awareness of Dying by Barney Glaser and Anselm Strauss

awareness of dying What I find most interesting about this book is that I have already experienced the phenomenon.  When I was eleven, I was shielded by my parents and doctors as to the true nature of my uncle’s illness.  I also figured out that my uncle also did not know he was dying.  I overheard a conversation between my mother and grandmother, explaining the shouting my uncle did on his ambulance ride to the hospital where he later died.  He never knew he was in liver failure.  At sixteen, my grandfather was dying from kidney disease in the hospital on the hospice floor.  This time I knew he was dying.  In fact everyone but my grandfather knew he was dying.  He was a jovial, positive man, and I now believe that he was pretending he was not really sick so as to enjoy his last few weeks and not spend his time looking at sad, depressed faces.  His attitude helped us be around him.  I also remember noticing how attentive the nurses were with him.  Both of these experiences are given names and explained in Awareness of Dying

Awareness of Dying was originally published in 1965 by Glaser and Strauss and revised in 2009.  This book is a substantive theory book dealing with medical disclosure to terminally ill patients.  It is a study of awareness contexts as they pertain to dying in hospitals.  Though someone who experiences unexpected loss may not find this to be a good, quick self-help book, it can help explain why people react the way they do to someone’s expected loss.  If you wish to answer why people shun or otherwise distance themselves from you in this time of need, the theoretical discourse in this book can provide needed wisdom.

The researchers studied dying patients, the dying patient’s family members, treatment nurses, and doctors in relation in the death process.  Glaser and Strauss examined different units of the hospital from geriatrics to hospice, intensive care, the cancer floor, emergency room, and the neonatal ward to obtain their research participants.  For both of the researchers, the interest in death and dying in the hospital stems from personal experiences.  Strauss experienced the loss of his mother and a good friend.  In both cases of loss, Strauss played what he later terms the game of closed awareness in order to prevent the loved one from knowing the true nature of their condition. Glaser dealt with the hopelessness of his father’s dying. 

Glaser and Strauss note that medicine is vastly improving.  Due to these improvements, it will be more common for an American to die in the hospital versus their bed at home.  This phenomenon will create for the dying person, family, nurse, and doctors an “awareness” that “will become more and more central to what happens as people pass from life to death in American hospitals.”  The researchers were seeking to understand four situations of dying in the hospital.  In the first situation, family, doctors, and nurses know the death will be timely but patients do not individually recognize their own death.  In the second situation, patients think they know what is going on and ask their family, nurses, and doctors questions, trying to elicit certain answers.  In the third situation, each person knows that the patient is dying but all parties mutually ignore the status. In this situation you usually find a young person (i.e., someone in their thirties or forties) who is not willing to accept this fate. In the fourth situation, everyone knows death is imminent and everyone is comfortable talking about it.  The fourth situation is usually an elderly person who has lived their life and accomplished what they had wanted. If you experienced any of the above four situations, you may want to read this book.

Glaser and Strauss were able to develop the overarching theory of “Awareness Contexts.”  Out of Awareness Contexts came four types, which each correspond to the situation analyzed.  They are closed awareness, suspected awareness, mutual pretense awareness, and open awareness.  In order to place a person in each context, Glaser and Strauss interviewed dying patients, family members, doctors, and nurses. They looked at the cues, tones, and body language to determine which situation a person falls into.  They realized that once rapport is established, the family and hospital parties will play their parts. It is the patient who is vulnerable and will often cross the awareness boundaries out of fear.  However, Glaser and Strauss discovered that in some situations (i.e., the person is not considered socially desirable), the nurses and doctors will not put up any veils or pretend that everything is alright. In these situations, hospital staff members may be found freely discussing the patient’s fate without any concerns of who will overhear.  In other situations (i.e., a young child or routine surgery), where there was no expectation of death, death came as a shock and seemed to temporarily paralyze the staff from performing routine tasks.  With later publications of this book, the non-expectation of death became the medical malpractice area.  Glaser and Strauss also found that nurses had difficulty with young children and/or people their own age because this was not the normal social order of death.  However, for these two types of dying people, the doctors seemed to distance themselves so as not to appear affected. 

Glaser and Strauss noted, “These formulations should guide others both in research on dying and in developing other theories which must take into account the awareness of people.”  The authors’ awareness context theory helps explain why nurses and doctors often act the way they do. The motions are often an unwritten subconscious role that everyone abides by, but no one explains. 

Fly me to where you are

This week I saw John Groban in concert.  The concert was amazing.  However, when he sang to where you are I could not help but think of my brother.  I started to tear up.  I realize the song is probably about lovers, but for those who have lost a loved one this song is apropos.

Eric, my sibling, was my past, my present, and my future.

He is gone now.  His spirit lives on within my heart and inside my head when I dream.  I do think it is natural to find certain events trigger memories.  This is nothing to be embarrassed of.  If you find yourself suddenly tearing up and you are with a group, just excuse yourself and go to the bathroom to dig out an “eyelash.”  It is a viable excuse that will allow yourself private time to cherish your memory.  Below are the beautiful lyrics by Josh Groban:

Who can say for certain?
Maybe you’re still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You’re still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are my forever love
And you are watching over me from up above?

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn’t faith believing?
All power can’t be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

‘Cause you are my forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe that angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

I know you’re there
A breath away’s not far
To where you are

Songwriters
THOMPSON, LINDA/MARX, RICHARD N.

Published by
Lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., CHRYSALIS MUSIC GROUP

I’m published on an online grief website!

Please click the link to read my first publication titled- Biographical Interview of an Adult Surviving Sibling. The article appears on http://www.thegrieftoolbox.com website. I do want thank my husband, Lee Gabe for suggesting that I open a twitter account, my professor Richard Toumey for editing the article, and my classmate Niki Incorvia for creating her blog and encouraging others to do the same.

Grieving Father Finds an Outlet in His Music

Grieving Father Finds an Outlet in His Music

 

I found this article posted by  the NY Times touching and useful; because I have been listening to Hilary Duff’s “Someone’s Watching Over Me” when I find myself thinking of my brother.  Music can uplift your spirits.  Music can also express what you may be unable to articulate yourself.  When you find yourself thinking of your loved one; find the one song that will give you the courage to breathe. The lyrics to Hilary’s song are below.  The song is about a sister who lost her way after her older brother was killed in a car accident.

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you’re not here to say
What you always used to say
But it’s written in the sky tonight

So I won’t give up
No I won’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I’m standing in the dark I’ll still believe
Someone’s watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it’s shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it’s taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

So I won’t give up
No I won’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I’m standing in the dark I’ll still believe
Someone’s watching over me

It doesn’t matter what people say
And it doesn’t matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you’ll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won’t give up
No I won’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I’m standing in the dark I’ll still believe
That I won’t give up
No I won’t break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I’m standing in the dark I’ll still believe
That someone’s watching over
Someone’s watching over
Someone’s watching over me

Someone’s watching over me

Thanks to Cruisindawavez for adding these lyrics.
Thanks to goldengirl94, ninac8, carmelcandy428, candyflossgirlx6x for correcting these lyrics.